Bar Reviews

The Boot

There’s absolutely nothing fancy about The Boot on Broadway. Fortunately nothing needs to be fancy. The alcohol flows like Jesus was behind the bar and the music wails all night long. College kids from Tulane and Loyola swarm the inside and outside like flies to shit and everyone is drinking and having a good time. Sadly it’s only bar food and bar drinks from this point on. Don’t expect to get a Mint Julep or a twelve-year-old bottle of Scotch. Expect domestic on tap and the hard stuff on the rocks. The best thing about New Orleans is that there’s always something for any mood. Sometimes you don’t want fancy, sometimes you just want to drink and listen to music and check out the girls or guys in the room. If you’re in that mood, then The Boot is definitely for you. If not, don’t complain. Remember Pee-Wee Herman trying to use the pay phone in the biker bar scene? Unless you plan on dancing to Chuck Rio’s “Tequila” in five-inch soles, I’d keep my mouth shut.

Parlay’s

I have never met a weirder, more awesome group of bar-goers than at Parlay’s Bar on Harrison Avenue in Lakeview. The bar stretches to the back of the room where it meets up with a pool table, Wii, arcade, and drunks. Have you ever watched a drunk play Wii bowling? All I can say is that Parlay’s must buy three TV’s a week. Either way the music is loud and the drinks are served quick. So quick that I’m pretty sure I was drunk before it was my turn to bowl. I stumbled forward, steadied my hand, and swung. The ball rolled slower than snot from a baby’s nose and the whole bar laughed. “Get me another,” I said to the barman. And I had two more before it was my turn to bowl again. Needless to say, the entire bar was extremely friendly or I was just extremely drunk. This, I’d say, was a win. Check out Parlay’s, folks, I promise it’s the bar you’re expecting it to be.

Bar Tonique

Expect every bar in New Orleans to have cold beer on tap, Jack Daniels, and crushed ice. But if you’re in the mood for a delicious cocktail, something exotic or authentic, you’ll have to do a bit of snooping for a decent bar. Lucky for you Atlantis Now is here to tell you that that bar isBar Tonique on North Rampart. A bit hidden from the street itself, once you slip through the doors, you’ll recognize immediately why Tonique isn’t your typical scuttlebutt. For one the counter and drink stations take up literally three quarters of the bar’s minimal square-footage. That’s not to say the place is cramped or uncomfortable but rather calm and cozy, lacking on TV’s and loud music but making up for the experience with great drinks. The next thing you’ll notice is that they carry everything but your typical “pop” brand of alcohol. Sorry, folks, no Grey Goose and Cranberry or Red Stripe Jamaican beer. Instead they have some of the finest aged-Scotch, premium single barrel whiskey, and an excellent selection of exotic beers. Note: While it is a great place to bring a date, please expect two things: a wait and dollar signs. The drinks are made with love (which means time) so please be patient and generous.

One-Eyed Jacks

Not only is One-Eyed Jacks (formerly known as the Shim-Sham) notorious for its Thursday Night 80’s show, but it is also an excellent venue for live performances such as Fleur de Tease and The Cribs. With an almost antediluvian ambience this pub is sure to surprise even the most retro late-nighter. I’ve heard great music, had great drinks, and met great people at One-Eyed Jacks. And while that doesn’t mean you will too it definitely can’t hurt your chances. Bring a few bucks because there might be a cover, but you won’t need baller status to have a good time at this New Orleans watering-hole.