Also I want to thank everyone again and again for their undying support and I would also like to stress spreading the word. Atlantis Now is you and we want everyone to know how proud we are to consider you our friends and patrons. Also don’t forget, if you can spare a bit, please consider getting a subscription to Atlantis Now. We are currently offering packages including one-year’s worth of A.Now, T-shirts, and limited edition autographed posters. While we hate to beg, we’ll do it as long as we can to spread your voice. Thanks folks, Jeremy Roussel and all the peoples at Atlantis Now loves you forever and ever!!!

To check out the August  2011 issue either peruse it here or download the pdf at this link:

http://www.theatlantisnow.com/files/flash/AugustIssue.pdf

Just copy and paste into your top bar. Oh, and enjoy!

Rafael Delgadillo

“We have at our feet, for the first time, the opportunity to develop our schools into institutions that are whole and equitable.”

I am not an expert on the education system in New Orleans. Nor do I think that you have to be to see that our schools have for too long been a failure.  Orleans Parish Public Schools were targeted for reform long before Hurricane Katrina because for decades students have had to endure decrepit facilities and often they still lack basic resources such as textbooks.  And for as much as we celebrate our city’s multiculturalism, New Orleans has a severely racially segregated school system with an underlying class divide.  The white minority almost exclusively sends their children to private schools.  While a small percentage of blacks who can afford tuition send their children to private schools.  The result has been an indifference towards public schools.  It is no wonder that these schools have long languished in neglect.

In recent years, the post-Katrina reforms in the school system seem to be progressive, at least idealistically.  However, these newest developments have not been met without controversy.  And that should not be a surprise. The rise of the charter school system, the different institutions operating them, and the associated politics are developments that are not easily understood.  Public schools and how they are operated are still an enigma in New Orleans.

In recent weeks, however, I have not been able to stop thinking about the public school system.  Just days before the city commemorated the fifth anniversary of Hurricane Katrina, FEMA awarded New Orleans Public Schools a lump-sum grant totaling $1.8 Billion.  The money will be used to pay for what has been called an “ambitious facilities master plan” that will renovate or rebuild schools that were damaged five years ago after the federal levee failures.  Again, I am no expert, but is it not plain to see that this is a major turning point in the city’s history?  We have at our feet, for the first time, the opportunity to develop our schools into institutions that are whole and equitable.

Yet this will not come without a newer kind of investment.  We must raise the expectations on ourselves, as citizens, to ensure that these schools are successful.  Not just because we are footing the bill as tax payers, but because we know and understand that our city cannot sustain itself without a functioning school system.  We are not contractors but we must demand that these facilities be top-notch so that future generations can rely on these structures to be safe for learning.  Though most of us will not be teachers or administrators we must insist and commit to working with them so that we can ensure the development of an environment that fosters community and growth.

In the five years since Katrina, New Orleanians have demanded a new era of transparency and accountability from government.  The development of a successful education system will take years to unfold.  However, this time we know that we have the resources.  The key now will be to understand how the incoming dollars will be spent.  This will not be done by a public that remains indifferent.  We are looking at revitalization of one of society’s crucial institutions.  How much have we endured in this city due to the poor education system?

If we are not capable of ensuring our young men and women of today with the knowledge and tools to succeed in their adult lives, then we are surely condemned to continue the present.

By Gabe Markel

New, Fresh, and Free.  These are key words in advertising; and happen to divulge a bit about how our brains work.  We naturally look for new stimulus.  This unquenchable thirst for novel stimuli is a hallmark of being alive.  It is very important.  I have often written to encourage song writers to write more new material.  I do think it is vitally important that new songs are being created.  It is quite simply the definition of a music scene.  There must be new music for the music scene to be alive.  We need more Mardi Gras songs and more Saints songs.  We need more songs about drinking and more songs about street corners.  We need more songs about big feet and more songs about bald women.  We need more new songs about everything.  The other side of the coin is that we need old songs.

This other side of the coin has a lot to it also.  Old songs provide a lot for a community.  Old songs are a cross generational bridge.   Old songs allow a shared experience.  Old Songs provide a common denominator.  Think of a song that you know all the words to.  Is it “Brown Eyed Girl” or “My Girl?”  Those are lovely songs and they have withstood the test of time.  Mothers and daughters can sing them together.  Songs like these provide a common ground for people to meet.  The shared joy brings people together.  Certainly two people can enjoy the latest Quintron song and connect over their experience of it, but it’s different when the song has universal scope: when everyone can connect through it.  There is also the pure simple joy of the sing-along.

A sing-along can only happen when everybody knows the song.  That is a reason why it is so important to have a canon of old songs that everybody knows.   Churches have their standard hymnals, nations have their anthems, cakes and candles have their “happy birthdays,” and most importantly New Orleans has a giant canon of music created by New Orleanians and for New Orleanians.  These songs are absolutely essential to being a New Orleanian.  Knowing the words to “Iko Iko” is something of an initiation.  If you do not know the songs then you are not part of the group.  The official canon of New Orleans songs has not been compiled, and is daily growing.  You better know “Junko Partner,” “Indian Red,” “What’s the Name of Your School,” and “Louisiana 1927.”  There are probably another hundred songs that you better know if you wish to claim that you’re a New Orleanian.  These songs are such an integral part of our culture that ignorance of them immediately casts one as an outsider.

All of the classic New Orleans songs has there specific applications.  “Tipitina” always makes me think of Mardi Gras.  I actually get angry if I hear that song before Twelfth Night, as it is then a tease.  Hearing  “Tipitina” in May is like listening to “White Christmas” in June.  It is flat out wrong; it feels wrong, it smells wrong, and it tastes wrong.  “When the Saints go Marching In” has really narrowed its application to Fall and football season.  All the songs are just loaded with meaning.  While everyone is going to have their own associations with a song, the songs provide a lot of common ground for everyone to join together.

Up and down the socio-economic strata New Orleanians can join together and sing “Li’l Liza Jane”  or “ Just a Closer Walk with Thee.”  Every New Orleanian knows how and why to sing those songs.   Not only that but we know how to dance to those songs too.  There is such a richness to our catalog of music that really gives our culture a vocabulary capable expressing so much communally.  This is why we live here; the culture.  The age of these tunes help too as they allow multiple generations to come together for a shared experience.  I know I’ve sung “Louisiana 1927” with at least 3 different generations of people together.  Again, what is so beautiful about this is that these old songs tell our story.  These songs were written by us, are about us, and are for us.  That kind of cultural richness does not exist elsewhere.  Sure there are traditional polish polkas that Chicagoans know and dance to in October, but those songs are not about Chicago and they weren’t written in Chicago by Chicagoans.  Our songs were.  Our songs are our culture.

Another aspect of the universality(all of New Orleans) of our music is that all the musicians know the songs.  The implication here is that you could pretty much pair up any two musicians in the city and give them a set list of 20 classic New Orleans songs and without any real rehearsal there would be excellent music.  In other words, our traditional songs give our musicians a common repertoire.  This bridge between all out musicians allows there to be a dialog of ideas between them which in turn helps drive idea diffusion and collaboration between musicians.  And that leads to new music and a celebration of the old music.

By Michael Jeter

If you’re reading this, then Jeremy Roussel has obviously published it and/or not choked me out for a piece I should have delivered to him in December or so.

When you live in a city that has changed constantly since its inception, a city where each generation seems to get a reminder of how tenuous that city and its culture is, logically you want to celebrate every aspect of that city you can. However, we only have so much space. But, as with many things New Orleans, we do not allocate what we have well. We crowd our celebrations within our most limited resource: space, so that everyone, but most assuredly, residents, get crowded out

It all began when I attended this past year’s Po – Boy Festival. As with so many things, my wife and I arrived with incredible anticipation, only to remember why, the previous year, we said we would never come back: the crowds.

New Orleans, of course, has always celebrated festivals. One may call it our raison d’etre – if one were an overly pompous English composition teacher…oh wait. From the Festivals that help raise money for Catholic schools to Essence and the Po – Boy Festival and the newer festivals – hell, Mardi Gras herself – we love to gather, listen to music, and eat food.

Every sandwich we ate at the Po – Boy Festival was delicious, but where to eat? Elbow to asshole, every bite punctuated with an “excuse me,” “pardon me,” “I’m sorry,” can we really “enjoy” ourselves? Nothing wrong with courtesy, but we have a serious problem, Houston, when we cannot enjoy the event for the crowds.

The Po – Boy Festival celebrates not only the po – boy, but of the groovy businesses of Oak Street. We should all celebrate Oak Street‘s grooviness. Rightfully, the businesses of Oak Street have the right to bring us to Oak Street during the festival. However, many po – boy purveyors at the festival do not hang their hat on Oak Street. Those businesses not located on Oak Street could spread out, down to and into Palmer Park, with stages for bands along the way. We will then have enough room for Po-boy lovers, music fans, and Oak Street aficionados to enjoy ourselves. And if we can’t enjoy it, what’s the point?

Of course, the Po – Boy Festival is not the only, or, to my mind, worst offender. That honor goes to the person who developed the idea to crowd three essential aspect of our culture – Creole tomatoes, zydeco, and seafood – in the space from the Old Mint to Café du Monde. We might argue that if these three aspects are worthy of celebration – and they are – each might warrant its own time during June. If we argue – as the organizers seem to do, that while each aspect is worthy, they are not worthy enough to warrant their own time, then at least they could warrant a larger space, or more spaces: Woldenberg Park, Jackson Square, North Peters, Decatur, Chartres, Royal, Bienville, Conti, Iberville – all provide plenty of space to allow locals to enjoy themselves and tourists to expose themselves to sights, sounds, and businesses beyond Bourbon.

Not the oldest but certainly the largest of these is our Jazz Festival. I attended one of the first, and fell in love with, among others, Astral Project, though I did not quite understand how revolutionary they were and are. I used to revel in the music, the food, the sun, the mud, and the music – I repeat myself when under stress, or to emphasize the point that Jazz Fest is about music.

But as I have grown older, I am less in love with either mud or sun. I am more discriminating in how I like to eat – indoors, with little chance of spilling something I have just paid for – and how I like to listen to music – again, indoors, with a place to sit down, get a drink and a comfortable snack, and perhaps even have a decent view of the artists. Yes, I ‘m old, I’m old – I will wear my trousers rolled.

In no way do I suggest that New Orleanians boycott JazzFest. There are, right now, three artists I would go to see: John McGlaughlin, The Miles Evans Orchestra, and Brooklyn’s Burnt Sugar. There are a ton of tasty artists this year – Ron Carter, Jeff Beck. In the past, we have seen the Allman Brothers, Earth Wind and Fire, Stevie Wonder, Cassandra Wilson, Dianne Reeves, and although they are not my cup of tea, Bon Jovi, and Billy Joel, to name a few.

However, we have this incredible out – of – town talent in New Orleans for two weeks, and of course, we always have our local talent. But where are Jeff Beck, Ron Carter, Marcus Miller, Herbie Hancock – fill in your favorite out of town talent – the rest of the year? Why can we not develop more clubs and venues for adults where adults can enjoy adult music? We have the House of Blues, but I do not want to pay extra to sit down. Why can’t we have clubs along the line of the Blue Note, bringing national and international talent throughout the year, rather than crowding everything into two weeks?

More, how did we come to a world where Jon Bon Jovi and Billy Joel should headline a New Orleans Jazz and Heritage Festival? Both are fine musicians for what they do, but only by the broadest stretch of the imagination can one claim Bon Jovi and Billy Joel are either “jazz” or New Orleans “heritage”(Yes, I realize that Bon Jovi helped out by playing the first JazzFest after Katrina; for me, that does not give him an honorary space at Jazz Fest. For the record, if we want to speak of New Orleans rock(as opposed to rock and roll) heritage, Why can we not get the Cold to reunite? What about Michael O’Hare and the St. Louis Sheiks or Dead – Eye Dick? When has Zebra ever played the Fest? Granted, none of the above were or are jazz, but each have made and did make indelible marks of New Orleans heritage.

However, as much as I love the idea of festivals which highlight a variety of music, I see the focus of the festival compromised: Bon Jovi headlines and Ron Carter, one of the most important bassist in history, plays a supporting role. Growing up, there was a Day of Rock and Roll in the Superdome. I was too young to attend, I am sure the show was a traveling package, and people tell me the Dome is the last place you want to see a show. Still, if Jazz Fest ends in the beginning of May, why can a rock festival not take place in June, with Essence happening in July? Obviously some overlap of each festival may occur, but each festival could maintain its own integrity and we will have three festivals across three months. When we add French Quarter Fest and Satchmo Fest in April and August respectively, we have two local festivals acting as bookends. Spread Creole Tomato, Zydeco, and Seafood through May and July, and we have a very busy, but comfortable summer.

I grew up in a New Orleans where we had something happening every week that utilized public parks and space well. I never felt crowded. Of course, as a much smaller citizen, crowds were never a problem. But a more sensible use of space and time will make New Orleans a more enjoyable place for us and our visitors. We need to spread our celebrations across and throughout the city, not in tight spaces. We need to encourage more performance spaces for progressive music of all types, from the local, to the national, to the international, to sound throughout New Orleans, throughout the year.

Local author Stephanie Hepburn Talks Human Trafficking

It has been nearly four years since I began my book research on human trafficking. Not only does that point to how long it apparently takes me to write a book but it also illustrates the complicated nature that is human trafficking.

No matter the nation – first, second, or third world – human trafficking exists. Yet the common thread between nations is the ostrich-like belief that the situation must be worse elsewhere – and that what trafficking does exist in their nation must exclusively involve foreigners. While there is no denying that foreigners are involved in each nation’s trafficking scenario (migrants are one of the most vulnerable populations globally), internal trafficking within a nation occurs too.

Unfortunately, the idea that foreigners are committing crimes against other foreigners creates a blanket of non-responsibility, both socially and even legislatively. How much can a nation truly control what ‘other’ people do to ‘other’ people? Of course the catch is when legislation doesn’t just ignore the exploitation of people but even creates loopholes for it to occur. Among others, this can be seen in the nations of Japan, the United Arab Emirates (UAE), and the United States.

In Japan, foreign unskilled laborers are prohibited from employment. Yet, as is the case in most nations, there is demand for low wage workers. To help satisfy this need the Government-run Industrial Training Program (ITP) and Technical Internship Program (TIP) created loopholes for employers to obtain low-cost migrant workers.

Designed as a three-year training and technical intern program, enrollees are supposed to spend the first year as a trainee and the remaining two years as a technical intern. The worker’s dependence on legal employment is tied to one employer, creating the opportunity for unfair treatment and abuse. Unscrupulous employers take advantage of the system and – after withholding worker passports – force laborers to work excessive hours, restrict their movements, and either don’t pay workers or pay them nominal amounts. There are also reports of physical and sexual abuse. If workers try to leave earlier than the designated three-year period they forgo their deposit. When a worker is already severely in debt, this is a serious disincentive to leaving the scenario.

In the UAE, migrant workers make up more than 90% of the UAE’s private sector workforce. The recruitment of foreign workers involves a crooked system of brokers and agents that swindle large sums of money from workers. Foreign nationals are promised high paying jobs in the UAE but upon arrival they often earn less than 50% of what they were promised, or are simply not paid. Akin to the system in Japan, workers are linked to just one employer, their ‘sponsor’. If the worker tries to find better employment – except in instances where the sponsor (employer) failed to pay him/her for more than two months – the employer is obligated to trigger his/her deportation. In fact, companies face heavy fines if they fail to request the UAE government to cancel ‘absconding’ workers’ visas.

While it is illegal for employers in the UAE to withhold worker passports, the common method for an employer to trigger the deportation of a worker is to turn in the worker’s passport to the Ministry of Interior. That is quite a contradiction. Don’t hold onto employer passports – it is illegal but um, do hold onto them so that you can trigger deportation if need be. Oh, and we will fine you (employer) if you don’t do so.

Discussing the U.S. is the trickiest portion of this article, particularly since the audience is in the U.S. While readers likely digested the above information with no problem, citizens get sensitive when it comes to the flaws of their own nation. Furthermore, as is the case in many nations affected by the global economic decline (France, Italy, Israel, and so on), we (the U.S.) are tightening our belts when it comes to foreigners. It is a ‘times are tight and we have enough mouths to feed’ mentality. Sure the emphasis has been on illegal migrants, but many folks don’t want to hear about the rights of legal migrant workers either.

Well, here it goes. Under the Victims of Trafficking and Violence Protection Act (TVPA) of 2000, the U.S. has taken significant measures against human trafficking. At the same time the highly unregulated “one sponsor” H-2B guestworker visa program has contradicted the nation’s pledge to protect victims of trafficking by creating the very opportunity in which legal migrant workers could be exploited. The H-2B visa allows for the hire of temporary nonimmigrant workers to perform non-agricultural labor on a one-time, seasonal, peakload or intermittent basis. Even with the amended regulations, there are significant flaws in the current H-2B visa program but it is the lack of enforcement of the program that has made it ripe for unscrupulous employers to exploit workers with little to no consequence.

Guestworkers in the U.S. have faced a variety of exploitations ranging from withheld passports; non-payment; some workers lived in labor camps surrounded by barbed wire and armed guards; restricted movements; armed employers that would shoot their guns in the air to ensure that their employees would not try to run away; threats of harm and deportation; detainment; and physical abuse.

Part of the problems is that no agency took responsibility for the program. In a bureaucratic form of hot potato the Department of Labor (DOL) pointed to the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) and DHS said, “who me?”

Technically the DOL was correct. In 2005, Congress vested DHS with enforcement authority over the H-2B program. As a result, the DOL had no authority to enforce the provisions and regulations of the program. In late 2008 discussions between DHS and the DOL resulted in an agreement that the DOL should be delegated H-2B enforcement authority.

The gist is that for nearly four years no governmental agency took ownership for the H-2B program. Today numerous amendments to the DOL regulations modernize the procedures for issuing labor certification to employers sponsoring H-2B guestworkers.

The amendments prohibit employers from passing onto foreign workers the cost of attorney or agent fees, the H-2B application, or recruitment associated with obtaining labor certification. This is extremely significant because the exorbitant fees often place a worker in debt. In cases where the employer paid the aforementioned costs, the worker is told that before they can receive their wages they have to ‘work off’ the fees. Also charged high fees for housing, food, and even the use of work tools, the worker can never catch up, putting them in a position of debt bondage.

As stated by the DOL, these are business expenses associated with aiding the employer to complete the labor certification application and labor market test – “The employer’s responsibility to pay these costs exists separate and apart from any benefit that may accrue to the foreign worker”.

One reality is that on a global scale trafficking for the purposes of forced labor is just starting to be acknowledged as such. Sex trafficking of foreigners has long been the focal point of the international anti-trafficking movement. Today, more attention – at least legislatively – is getting paid to forced labor. But society and enforcement of these laws seem to lag a bit behind the legislative changes. In all three nations forced labor victims are commonly arrested and deported for immigration violations prior to an adequate screening to determine whether they are in fact trafficking victim. In the U.S. identified forced labor victims received comprehensive services. The same cannot yet be said for the UAE or Japan.

Stephanie Hepburn is co-author of the forthcoming book Hidden in Plain Sight: Human Trafficking the World Over. The above is a collection of excerpts from the book. You can contact the author at hidden.in.plain.sight.the.world.over@gmail.com

One Computer Tech’s Path of Being Fat and Beating it the Hard Way

By Steven J Brolin

I just had lunch, and in about two hours, I’ll be hungry again.  I’ve been eating smaller portions and in-between meals to keep my metabolism going.  So far, it’s been working like a charm. When my body gets hungry, I listen, and I feed it just enough to get by, until the next time.

I was always slightly overweight. Since I was young, at each year, I would be about one hundred pounds times my age.  That’s not too bad for a growing boy of 12 years at 120lbs, but at 24 years old, 240lbs became a problem. You see, my body doesn’t like being fat.  It retaliates with issues like high blood pressure, acid reflux, and even sleep apnea.  And as the years passed, I managed to eat my way to 290lbs!  That doesn’t sound easy right?  Well, years of hard work, fast food, and soda helped!

I was an active person, well, sort of. I went to the gym on occasion, and I played basketball here and there. But, my biggest problem was my job.  Sitting down for 8 to 10 hours a day left little room for calorie burning and of course, I never had the motivation to get up early and work out before going to work. I became comfortable with where I was, and even with the medical issues and sporadic bouts of frustration, I still did nothing to fix myself.  Like I said, I was comfortable.

Your mind is such a powerful force.  No matter how hard you try to control it, it does what it wants, whenever it wants.  You learn how to lie to yourself and take the path of least resistance with most of what you do.  So, finding motivation to push against that resistance is probably the most difficult thing to do.  For many people, I wanted to do something about my health, but I could never get past that resistance, even knowing that it was all in my head. I mean, why sleep on the floor when that mattress is so cozy? Comfort is cancer, and it kills us ever so slowly.

So, what happened to finally push me past my self-imposed resistance? Pain.  Sounds pretty simple, right? Honestly, it is.  Pain is probably the easiest way to get motivated.  My parents used that technique to get my brother and I to obey.  I mean, who wants a whippin’?  Those tend to hurt, so we listened to prevent those whippin’s from occurring.  Simple!  Touch that burning stove and I bet the pain will prevent you from trying that again.  Pain is so basic, yet so harsh.  For me, it was just the thing I needed to finally do something.

My pain wasn’t the physical type I described, but an emotional one.  Sometimes that hurts more.  The ending of a three and a half year relationship sure did hurt, but it was the answer for me.  Without getting into the details, I’ll use my favorite analogy.  I was held back like a rock in a sling shot.  Once she “let go,” I shot forward and flew into this process of fixing myself.  Don’t get me wrong, it hurt…like going to a postal dentist on his last day on the job.  But, it woke me up, completely.  That was the motivation I was looking for.

I started running.  I used to run on occasion, and before Hurricane Katrina, my friends and I would run at Audubon Park in the morning.  Once I was done running, I had enough energy for the day’s work and I was ready to keep it going.  Of course, the hurricane screwed that up among other things.  After that, so many things took priority over running that I couldn’t muster up enough will power to do it again.  Finally, about seven months ago, I started running again.  At 275lbs, running was a challenge, but I did it before so I couldn’t sell myself out this time.  I ran at Audubon Park again and tried my best to get to the first mile without stopping.  I finally did it, and, for me, each time I ran, I made slight improvements in my time.

I’m the kind of person that loves to compete, and running was the perfect measurement of my current fitness level.  Soon, my 13 minute miles turned into 12 minute miles.  I was able to do a mile straight and eventually got to finish the 1.8 mile track at Audubon Park without stopping.  That was a big milestone, and these milestones really kept the motivation going. For me, that was the key.  I kept making small, yet attainable goals, and each time I met them, I felt a sense of reward that continued to fuel the fire I needed under my posterior.

Today, I can run 4 miles straight.  I’m down to 238lbs and went from a 42 inch waist in pants to a loose 38 inch waist.  My shirts went from a 2xl to a large.  I had to literally replace my wardrobe with smaller clothes, which was expensive.  However, everyone tells me that it’s not a bad problem to have.  I agree completely.

We all need something to push us.  A lucky few have that extra will power from birth, but for someone like myself, it takes something extra to show me what I can’t see.  So, I know how hard it is to get into a healthier lifestyle.  It’s even more difficult when you become comfortable in the status quo.  But, when you can find something that motivates you, the possibilities are limitless.

I don’t want to sound too cliché, since everyone in my position says the exact same thing.  “If I can do it, you can do it.  If Yan can cook, so can you!”  Well, honestly, it’s true, but there is more to it than “doing it.”  There has to be something there for you to grab onto.  There has to be a reason for you to even begin.  Some people have heart attacks and still continue their path to self-destruction.  Others just wake up one morning and just do it.  It all depends on you.  You have to look into yourself to figure out what it is you really want in life.  Do you want to see your children grow up?  Do you want to be able to play pitch and catch with your son when he’s 12?  Do you want to be able to dance with your daughter at her wedding?  Some of us aren’t that fortunate.  However, all it takes is for you to figure out what it is that makes you move.  What would it take for you to make a lifestyle change?  At first it becomes an inconvenience, but after a while, you get used to it, and you get comfortable with making yourself uncomfortable.

Yeah, remember when I said how powerful your mind is?  Well the trick is to control your mind the way a parent controls a 3 year old.  You have to trick it into conformity.  Tell your son that he can’t watch Sponge Bob until he puts away his toys.  How long do you think it’ll take him to put them away?  Now, try telling your son that big boys clean up after themselves and also, big boys get to go to the zoo on the weekends because their toys are put away.  I bet that’ll work much better.  Same goes for your mind.  You have to push yourself in a way that becomes comfortable.  You have to plant small goals in your mind that you know you can attain, and each time you do, you will feel that sense of reward a child gets when he helps his daddy in the garage, or a student gets when he gets an A in Algebra.  Those rewards send chemical signals in your brain that literally feel good.  And you’ll want to feel that way again and again.  So you’ll continue to push forward.  After a while, you’ll be on cruise control and all you have to do is to continue.  The mind is very powerful, yet very basic.  When you learn to control it, you’ll have the will power to do whatever it takes to make you and your mind happy.  Just learn yourself and teach yourself.  Sounds cliché?  Well, it might be, but that’s what worked for me.  And, the only advice I can give you is the advice that works.

Royal Pains!

By Bryan Jourdain

With all of the media coverage of the Royal Wedding last month, I felt compelled to turn off my television and avoid the news networks. I as a person, fail to see the fascination with this event, and apparently the citizens of England share my royal pains. In interviews, most of the citizens felt the wedding was more of an inconvenience, and were angry that they had to pay for a part of it. Granted, on paper the tax payers only had to cover the security for the wedding, but the people still felt like that was too much. Supporters for the wedding would argue that the revenue generated by the event was worth the tax payer’s nickel, but I argue back by saying that the majority of the people don’t own the hotels, restaurants, airlines, and shops that profited from said wedding. That is the equivalent of me giving you 100 dollars and your neighbor making 1000 dollars off of my money, and you expecting me to be happy with their success. That sounds like a raw deal to me, and remember that they shelled out the cash and couldn’t even go to the crappy event. They got to sit at home and watch people with fancy titles and drug and alcohol problems show off how important they are for absolutely nothing. I understand their aggravation, especially when you take into account the state of their economy. Maybe they should have cut back on things that are only symbolic in nature when the people are suffering. I would suggest that the people overthrow the “Queen” in an off with her head kind of fashion (joking), but for the life of me I can’t figure out what the “Queen” does. Seriously, does she sign bills or make decisions that are vital to the people? Do all of her family members with the fancy titles make decisions as well? If so then the people are in trouble! In truth, the “Queen” serves more as an ambassador for entertaining heads of state and powerful people, and she also does some charity work. Her siblings are only famous for being related to her (a next in line thing). These people do little to nothing and other people want to be them because of their so called “Royal Blood”. Well I ask you, what make ones blood royal? In the old days, your blood was royal if you were ruthless enough to kill anyone who called you blood normal. After that, your blood was considered royal if you were kin to a royal member of the family, but keep in mind that the royal families practiced inbreeding. Seriously, Google the Royal Family Tree and you will notice the more to go back, the more you see the same names and the lines cross. Who in their right mind would want to be “Royal”

So with all that said, if you expected me to watch an event of this caliber on TV or even care about it, you are crazy! These people are not even celebrities in my book! At least celebrities have to work. The Monarchy is a thing of the past, and I live in the NOW! If you have no real power or influence or even the ability to affect your people, then I refuse to acknowledge your title that was stolen for you by your ancestors. If I ever meet the “Queen”, I will call her by her first name! In fact, someone the the “Queen” to get a real job! Thank goodness that the death of Bin Laden stopped the circus of media coverage that was in progress. GO SEAL TEAM 6!

Sir. Bryan D. Jourdain

P.S. If you can have a fake and useless title, SO CAN I!

Follow me on Twitter @BryanJourdain

Become a fan on Facebook @ MeanBeanMeansIt

By Paul Warrington

Tired of your friends making fun of you? Tired of the taunts and finger-pointing and references to inappropriate parts of the human anatomy? Well stop screaming like a girl when ladybugs crawl by. I wrote this article because I can’t tell you how many times I hear friends complain about this or that. They whine about the weather, when it’s too dry or too wet, when it’s too hot or too cold, when their clothes stick or when their hats fly away. Sometimes I just want to tell them, “why in the hell do you live in New Orleans?” But sadly I know why. They didn’t choose to live here. They were chosen. But that doesn’t mean they have to be burdens on the rest of us, right? As a solution I’ve decided to offer a few quick tips for our skittishly annoying friends. Hopefully they’ll read them, though we both know they’ll probably complain about the font or the size of the font or the fact that it isn’t double-spaced with one-inch margins.

1. Make Big Problems Smaller

Start by biting off only what you can chew. When you’re getting ready to start a project or a new job, don’t try to impress anybody with what you’re willing to take on. Learn from the people that know what they’re doing and then grab what you think you can honestly handle. Nothing is worse than hearing someone say, “I’ll paint these two rooms,” then listening to them complain about taking on an unfair portion of the work. Instead do the humble thing and ask. Asking “What can I do?” is always a safe option. This stems from the fact that humility never hurts. Most humble people also happen to be honest and honesty is worth its weight in gold.

I also mean literally don’t put more on your plate than you’re capable of eating. Know your limits. That way when it looks like you won’t accomplish something, your friends will feel more obligated to help you and less obligated to kick you in the ass.

2. Refrain From Name-Calling

If someone calls you a “pudding” don’t counter by calling them a “jerk.” In fact don’t counter them at all. I’ve found that two whiners are prone to name calling and not to productive conversation. That’s not to say you should try opening a meaningful dialogue with a name-caller. The point of all this: Don’t let another whiner turn you into a whiner. I’ve found that a lot of complaints come from those that don’t really have complaints but have simply jumped on the wrong end of a band wagon. Be reasonable. When someone complains, they don’t want to fix the problem, they just want to vent their frustrations. Instead of taking this opportunity to start a pissing party, try solving the problem instead.

3. The Best Excuse is No Excuse

Can’t go to the party? Don’t feel like helping me paint my house? Say so. Sadly I’ve been known to abuse this rule myself. Sometimes you want to be so accommodating that you forget you can’t really do all the things you promise. And then, you feel the need to make excuses when the promises you made aren’t possible. Once again, keep it simple. Say “no” when the answer is no and say “yes” only after sincere and reflective forethought. Any friend that gets crabby when they hear you say “no” isn’t a real friend and doesn’t deserve the excuse you were going to craft up anyway. And an unaccommodating friend that wants to seem accommodating is about as desirable as a pimple on the bottom of your eyelid.

4. Pick Your Battles

Some wars on not worth being fought, some drama really is better saved for your mama. If you haven’t noticed most of these tips focus on discretion. Unfortunately few people truly understand what it means to be discrete. To be discrete you have to think before you act, you have to understand yourself and the situation, you have to be considerate and thoughtful not just of yourself but of others. A discrete person knows wearing tight spandex to a wedding is inappropriate and texting during a family dinner is unacceptable. An indiscrete person will do what they want when they want. When they suffer they want everyone to suffer with them, even if that means making an effort to ensure others suffer. Now I’ll say this for the cheap seats, it’s one thing not to like the food or service at a restaurant that is known to have questionable food or service, but to go to a restaurant where the food and service are suspect and to complain about what you’ve already suspected is ridiculous. Don’t go to IHOP and expect the Belgian waffles to remind you of Europe. They won’t. They’ll remind of you IHOP, the sticky floors and the sticky seats, the tiny packets of butter and the lukewarm lemonade.

5. Follow Through

Dear Lord, I cannot stress this last tip enough. I stress it because I know it’s hard. I know most things are easier said than done, I know what you “want” to do and what you “can” do are usually two very different things. But if you say you’ll do something, try your very best to do it. By having no excuse I didn’t just mean for others, I meant for you as well. You’ll find that the better you become at making excuses, the more reasons you’ll find not to do this or that. It’ll be too hot or too cold to go for a run with friends, it’ll be too late for a drink or too early for a movie. You’ll build up walls that your friends will both not be able to climb and not want to in the first place.

Zot’s

8210 Oak Street, New Orleans, LA

(504) 861-2224

Lil’ Dizzy’s

1500 Esplanade Avenue, New Orleans, LA

(504) 569-8997

WWNO

2000 Lakeshore Dr, New Orleans, LA

(504) 280-7000

Rue De La Course

1140 South Carrollton Avenue, New Orleans, LA

(504) 861-4343

Chateau Coffee Café

139 Robert E Lee Boulevard, New Orleans, LA

(504) 286-1777

Robert’s Fresh Market

135 Robert E Lee Boulevard, New Orleans, LA

(504) 282-3428

Fair Grinds Coffee House

3133 Ponce De Leon, New Orleans, LA

(504) 913-9072

Louisiana Pizza Kitchen

615 South Carrollton Avenue, New Orleans, LA

(504) 866-5900

Planet Beach River Bend

701 Dante St # A, New Orleans, LA

(504) 865-8266